Lately, I’m relearning (and relearning and relearning) to trust God. There’s a lot floating around in the world these days about “manifesting” and the power of thought, holding space, visualizing things that we want for ourselves or others. So many methods, so many criticisms, so many ways of looking at the same thing.
When I think of grand goals like owning 50+ acres of forested land, building our own house, being responsible for the care of horses and other animals for food and service, etc. — eventually my mind dismisses these thoughts as selfishness and “probably never going to happen”. I convince myself there will always be compromise. Something so amazing would never happen to me. Why?
Why do I want 50+ acres of gorgeous wilderness? Privacy, sure. But moreover, to preserve it. To care for it. To do great work with complete freedom. To host families or events, generously. To have land to develop gently and give to my children and grandchildren. To take care of those whom I can take care of. — Does this sound selfish? Purely self-serving? I don’t think so. Why do I bring myself down so harshly?
Because I’m jaded. Because I doubt the desires God has given me. Because I doubt the gifts God has already given and has said He will give. Doubt! Doubt is the problem!
So, I think of these verses (and the surrounding verses) my mother used to sign to every handwritten letter she would give my sister and I:
“Trust in Adonai, and do good; settle in the land, and feed on faithfulness. Then you will delight yourself in Adonai, and He will give you your heart’s desire. Commit your way to Adonai; trust in Him, and He will act.” ~ Psalms 37:3-5