Continuing along with the experiment of living amongst the flows of nature, I discovered that my earlier theories (found in my original “Working with my Fertility Cycle” article) needed some adjusting. Originally, I offered the theory that the week of bleeding was the Autumn week, the week after being Winter, etc. However, I think I’ve come across an observation that feels more accurate — at least for my own cycle.
What I’ve noticed, for myself, is that I start to get what I call “senior-itis” in the last few days before I start to bleed. I don’t want to do as much, I have less energy, I feel the wind-down of an inevitable sit-down. Suddenly I’m procrastinating with as much as possible. I might even dig my heels in and stubbornly refuse to do something “just because”. That’s “senior-itis”, like a high-school senior who has 4 electives out of 7 required classes to graduate. (Literally me.) Feeling apathetic or lethargic, however, can be a result of inadequate nutrition; namely, animal fats and protein.
It’s no secret, to those who know me, that I struggle with adequately feeding myself. As a busy mother with a yet-to-be-pinpointed weird relationship with preparing food for myself (not necessarily eating it), I can go way too long without proper fuel for my body. Nutrition is key to nearly every level of human function — but we’re not getting into that today. The reason I mention nutrition is because I actually have been doing alright lately! So, I am pointing it out to explain that it’s not a factor, right now. We’re ruling it out.
No, the exciting discovery that I think I’ve uncovered for myself is that the day I begin bleeding and the day I ovulate are each like the fall and spring equinox. My autumn week begins before the day of bleeding — the shift in the weather. Just like I can feel the creative energy that accompanies Spring and ovulation prior to the official “moment”.
I’m not sure this is exciting for anyone else, but I sure think it’s neat.
The reason I am noting, so carefully, these nuances and patterns, is that I need boundaries for the way that I live. I believe the universe was designed with natural boundaries, the kind that provide safety within the structure but don’t prohibit our ability to create and live freely. For me, finding and living the patterns of nature is to find and live the full potential of our design. If I try to use paint to build a car and drive it away — I won’t get very far. If I use the paint to create the scene I desire to live — then I can go anywhere.
That said, because humans are uniquely co-creators in many ways, if I want to try to build a car out of oil paints, by all means! But when I know the natural limitations, I can also know that the journey outside of that may be more difficult and will just as naturally come with its own set of obstacles. (Like, how do I make a mushy rainbow pile move?)
So. That’s what this is for me. I acknowledge the patterns, the boundaries, the limits, whatever — and I have universal permission not to go beyond the boundary, if I don’t want to. I allow myself to prepare and settle in during autumn, to rest during the winter, to create in the spring, and feast on the production in the summer.